Bad to be Sad?

People and society seem to push the message "Just smile, be happy", "turn that frown, upside down" and other messages that basically seem to say "It's not okay to be sad".

I have been thinking about this a lot as we explore emotions with our toddler. We are trying to encourage her to use words to express herself, rather than tantrums, fighting, etc. But speaking to a mother who is a Hand in Hand Parenting consultant, I have learnt, that just labelling Lily's emotion is not really accepting her emotion. Accepting that a person is feeling a valid emotion, and letting them feel that emotion, is all about emotional growth and learning how to deal with things. I had never thought of it that way, as my instant reaction has always been "she's sad, what can I do to fix it" which could also be seen as "what can I do to stop her feeling sad", rather than actually helping her feel the emotion, and how to deal and cope with that emotion (same for anger too).

I wonder if this reaction that people and society seems to have built is what is also causing a lot of depression and anger issues with people in society. No emotion is acceptable to be expressed unless it is a happy one. "We don't want to see tears. Show us your happy face". I mean, happiness is a lot "easier" to deal with, it generally radiates happiness to other people around as well. But, what about the days when we just don't feel happy? We have to "put on a brave face". Watching The Biggest Loser Australia, shows many people who "put on a brave face" while trying to deal with the emotions with food behind closed doors. Perhaps if we had encouraged them to talk about their problems, about their emotions, they would not have turned to food for comfort.

This leads me to announce that, yes, I have been struggling. Pregnancy and a toddler can be hard work! And, luckily for me, I have been able to see the signs that I wasn't coping, and get help. I have Antenatal Depression, something I hadn't even known existed until I googled and spoke to my midwife and doctor. I know a lot of mums who have had to deal with, and in some cases are still dealing with, Post Natal Depression. I was completely confused, as I didn't think I had that, as I haven't been depressed since having Lily. Once learning about Antenatal Depression, it seemed to take some of the weight off my shoulders, some of the feelings that there was something "wrong" with me, but it all is starting to make sense now, and I am working through it. But, as society says its "bad to be sad", no one knows other than my partner, my doctor, my midwife, and a few internet friends. I don't understand why I should not talk about this, I don't know why I don't. I feel like people won't want to know, people won't know how to treat me, and people will look at me differently. But another side of me thinks, if I don't bring this up, how will other people know that this exists? That it is okay to be sad, and that there is help out there? That I am also willing to listen when others are upset and need an ear?

So my biggest thought and question is, how do you talk, handle and treat your family, friends and children's emotions? Do you dismiss them, or allow them to feel and accept all the "negative emotions"?

Taking our Manduca Carrier to new heights!

We woke up and decided we felt like walking (as the weather had just cleared), so decided to take a walk up Mount Warning (Wollumbin). The start of the trail was the hardest for me, as it was mostly steps. It also didn't help that I was 21 weeks pregnant and carrying 4L of water, our food, and nappy bag in a giant backpack. Chris took Lily in the Manduca and I could hear them ahead of me pointing out different things they could see. As it was the day after flooding in South East Queensland, there was lots of waterfalls, many we had to walk though, sometimes feeling like the track was a waterfall, which by the end of our walk, was one of Lily's new favourite words.

We took lots of breaks, sometimes for Lily, but a lot of the time for me. This photo was taken about two thirds of the way up the track.

To reach the very top, you had to use a chain and climb up rocks, it seemed to take all my coordination with my (what seemed like at the time) giant belly. But it was worth the climb, we got to the top and had our picnic, watching the view to the coast disappear as the cloud started to surround us, which was also quite amazing.

The climb down the rocks was probably harder than going up, but the walk down seemed easier, although my socks and shoes were soaked through by the time we got back to the car. I'm glad I did it, it was a beautiful walk, and it definitely made me feel like I got some outdoors time. My legs were rather sore for a few days after though!!

Experimenting with paint

I thought, in the lead up to Christmas, Lily creating some artwork for family would be a cheap and sentimental idea, as well as a lot of fun.

I got out the 3 primary colours so Lily could experiment with mixing and colours changing. I think it was more fun exploring the feel of the paint first up though, as we ended up painting ourselves.

After she finished painting her body (which I prepared her for by putting a disposable nappy on her), she moved on to using the different sponges that I had laid out to move the paint around and make lines and "drawings" in the paint.

And much to my surprise, the "clean up" was just as much fun for Lily!

On a side note, it didn't really go to plan for the Christmas presents, as I couldn't find appropriate frames for her artwork... I will keep searching though!

Playdough

I made some home made playdough for the first time, and thought we'd see how Lily went with it. 

There was the obligatory taste, which resulted in a few raspberries, but other wise we had lots of fun.

 

We didn't have any playdough "toys" but we improvised and had fun pinching, rolling and flattening the playdough.

We used this recipe, which I find makes it perfectly! (and lasts for ages it seems)

http://www.bestrecipes.com.au/recipe/Play-Dough-L926.html

First Family Camping Trip

We finally found the time (and money!) to go on a camping trip, as a family! Worried a bit at first, as I thought we might over pack, but I think we did very well (other than me bringing my eco pot, with no pots in it).

Of course though, it had to rain. We left our home with a blue sky finally starting to show. Drove for 2 and a half hours without hitting rain, before our little miss woke up and demanded out. We stopped at Coffs Harbour and drove down to the Jetty as Chris had never been there. Went for a short walk and there were whales jumping! Amazing!! And I didn't even have a camera. Chris finally got to see some whales, not that he seemed to fazed by it all anyway. Lily seemed to find every single puddle to jump and dance in, and was not happy when we decided it was time to go. We stopped several times before getting to our destination of Hat Head Holiday Park. 

Nothing too special about the camp ground itself, but it was situated on a creek and a beach! The grey clouds were starting to loom, so after Lily had a massive run around loving all that the outdoor had to bring, we quickly set up camp. After setting up camp, we were feeling quite lazy, so we went to the bowlo for some dinner and a drink, which just happened to be about 50m from our camp site.

The first night it rained and thundered, and had flashes of lightning throughout the night (at least it waited for us to go to bed though). After Lily went down really easily, she woke up in the night several times (not unusual) but one time just seemed freaked and would not calm down. Ended up having to get the laptop with her In the Night Garden DVD going to calm down. And after watching an episode and saying good bye to them she rolled over and went to sleep. PHEW! Tents don't offer any sound protection, so I was so scared that she may have woken up the whole camp.. which is probably why the camp ground managers put us so far away from everyone (but right next to the beach).

I woke to a knocking noise. My friends were coming up from Sydney to meet us, and I thought that they had miraculously turned up early and were trying to let us know they were here by knocking on the table. I woke up Chris who just told me I was crazy and went back to sleep. I fished out my phone and they were definitely not any where near by so I tried to go back to sleep, which is almost impossible in a tent. So I got up, and what a mess!!!! We had put our gazebo down to its shortest setting to ensure our things would stay dry if it rained, but we never thought of this. Our food was every where. All the food I had brought that wasn't cold. The birds had come in and pecked their way through everything. ARGH! Now I know what the knocking was.

After cleaning up the mess, and having a shower, we headed out and grabbed some food for breakfast. A burger with the lot was Chris' choice. Only one place really to get food from for breakfast, but they did have an awesome vanilla milkshake.

Since it was still raining, we decided to just drive around. We went and explored the Hat Head National Park, and saw another whale at the Gap. Took Terry off road for the first time, which was a little exciting. Checked out the Hat Head National Park camping grounds, which had some Kangaroos camping there too. On the way out we saw a track and started to drive down it, but got a call from my friends to say they were almost at the campground, so we turned around at our first chance and headed back. Guess that will be an adventure for next time.

After cooking up some nachos for lunch, we went for a drive looking for something to cook for dinner while it still rained. We ended up having to drive out of town, where we found a little store that had enough selection to get the ingredients to make Beef Strognoff (sp) with Potato and Kumera (sweet potato) mash. By the time we prepared it all, the rain had lifted, so my friends and Chris went for a fish while I waited for Lily to wake. Not long after they left the sun shone through the clouds and it was beautiful! This place is sooo pretty with the sun shining on everything.

After a non successful fishing adventure, and a wander, we headed back for dinner and tried to get a campfire going. After getting some flames going it slowly fizzed out. So after dinner we went down to the bowlo and had a drink and watched the end of the rugby. There was a party there with lots of people dressed up as things starting with the first letter of their name (apparently). Lily was scared of most of the men, in particular one dressed as Santa, and one dressed as Mary (as in Jesus' mum). 

The next day was absolutely beautiful. Hot by 9am, so we were all off to the beach for a splash. Lily loved it, until a wave knocked her over, with sand everywhere. So we headed back to pack up camp, and Lily shows how much she has had a word explosion, asking to go back to the beach by saying "Bee? Bee?". After some playing with my friends, she has a nap and we finish packing up leaving the rest of the day playing in the sun, or at least til we had to leave to make it back in time for the Wallabies vs the All Blacks game.

I totally recommend going there if you are in to the beach and camping. Next time we are going to camp closer to the amenties though.

And just to prove I was there, here is a really bad photo of me (and Chris). I really need to get some new sunnies.

Fitting in Some Sewing, with Some Baking Disasters

Today, while pottering around the house, couldn't get my mind off some bananas on the bench that were turning black. They were screaming to me, "Bake me! Make me in to some delicious!" Who was I to argue? I had already asked Stay At Home Mums for some recommendations for the bananas, and while I got some awesome suggestions, I decided to make some "Low Fat Banana Bread". I should have known it was too good to be true!

Firstly, I didn't read the instructions before I had committed to making it. Leave it for several hours? DAMN! I wanted some for lunch.. oh well, all the ingredients are already in the bowl. So after several hours, my dough doesn't look like it has expanded, or risen, or whatever it is that yeast causes your concotion to do. Hmm, maybe its because I used instant yeast instead of "normal" yeast. Maybe my yeast has been open too long? I am not sure if I even remember when I opened it. Read the can again, and maybe its because I didn't keep it in the fridge. Damn. Another lesson learnt, I guess. I'll just follow it through and hope for the best. Maybe I should've googled to see if there was something else I could have done. Maybe added some baking powder or something instead? I'm not sure.. guess that's why I never thought I was good at baking.

After following the baking instruction, I prick the bread with a toothpick, and it comes out with heaps of stuff stuck to it, but the outside is hard like a rock. What number of damns am I up to now? I put it back in to the over on a low temp.

While all this is going on, I also have had a sewing project on my mind. I figure I should do a 'trial' of what I want to make. I want to wait til my daughter is asleep til I even attempt to do this, as she has been clingy and whingy of late. Once she is asleep, I trace out the pattern, find some fabric and get them cut out. I hear a stir, which looks like its the end of my sewing attempt until either later tonight, or after we go away. But luckily, she goes back to sleep. I start to get my sew on, and once it all starts coming together, I am wondering why I ever doubted I could sew. Lily wakes up, and wants to use the sewing machine. Giving me things to sew. So I give her some material to hold and I finish the pants (with out the elastic or hem, as I am going to attempt to make the pants reversible, and have to go get the other material tomorrow). They actually look like pants! STOKED! Hopefully the rest of my idea will work out.

Oh crap! The banana bread!! I run over to the oven and take out the banana bread, or should I call banana rock? Do the prick test again, and it seems a bit better, so I put it on a cooling rack. Man, this bread looks really hard. Hopefully it is just like those crunchy rolls. Might be a bit hard on the outside, but will be delicious on the inside. I wait for it to cool down... Cool down already!

After getting dinner cooking, I decided it was time to have a little snack of banana bread. I cut off the end crust, and cut a slice for me to eat. It seems really "thick", kind of what I would expect gluten free bread to be like. I put some jam on it, and think, this possibly could taste like gluten free bread too. 

Once Chris got home, I cut another slice to get his opinion. No jam or butter this time. Ew. What is this crap? I think this was my WORST baking attempt ever. Just when I had started to think that maybe I wasn't so bad at baking. Just started to think that maybe it was harder to fuck up a cake, bread or muffin recipe.

So now I wonder what I should do with this banana rock. Its some pretty expensive bread, with bananas still being almost $8 a kg. But there is no way it is going to be eaten. Maybe I should keep it to use as a weapon if I ever get an intruder in the house.

Edit: By the way, if anyone is looking for a solution to a similar banana bread disaster, you can find some wonderful suggestions from MamaBake here:

http://www.facebook.com/MamaBakeHQ/posts/283199171697989

Spring, Storms, and Homely Activities

Spring has definitely been a little mad this year. We had some stinking hot days, we had several storms, including hail, and we've spent weeks recovering from a cold.. and now I think teeth may be arriving, but really, who knows? Maybe Lily is just having an off week, or maybe, she just doesn't like the idea of me having any sleep.

While I was at the markets in Bangalow at the end of last month, Ballina had a crazy hail storm. Chris' cars were both damaged, and when I drove in to Ballina, I felt like I was driving in to a ski town rather than a beach side community. I had asked Chris to take some photos before it melted, and this is one of them:

Before this storm, things were really heating up. We had a weekend of 30+ degree days, and thought that Summer was arriving early. We were sure mistaken. Since then I'm not sure there has been many days over 20, let alone over 25! But its slowly creeping up there, which is why I decided to have a special on sun hats. EJ Kids make some great hats, and as Summer approaches I thought its time to whip out the sun hats, as we put away the beanies. EJ Kids' sun hats have wide brims, adjustable pull tie for head size, and an under chin tie to make sure the hat stays on. They are all hand made in Australia, and have some really funky fabrics to choose from. So get in and pre-order one now (sale finishes on Tuesday), but if you missed it, don't worry! You can still grab your loved one a beautiful hat from our website anyway.

With any sign of sunshine and/or blue skies, we have been visiting the beach to have a dig, collect some rocks, and sometimes splash (fall?) in the water. After all this splashing, and the cool sea breeze, I've decided to also get a whole lot more of the Bamboo Towelling Jackets that EJ Kids make too. They are easy to slip on over a wet cold child, and the zipper means that they get a close fit, and it won't fall off. And best of all, there aren't any dangly bits to fall in to the water while collecting more rocks or shells from the rock pools! These should definitely be added to your must-have list for this Summer! They work just as well at the pools as the beach, and you'll be wondering why you bothered running after your kids picking up the towels they dropped behind them.

Other things happening in the tubbles household is sewing and baking. Not necessarily in that order, though. I am finding myself baking a lot of cakes and cookies lately, which hasn't been helping my waist line at all (but have been very delicious!). We are almost over flowing with cakes and sweets at the moment, but I'm still getting requests from my other half, and I'm pretty sure my daughter has a sweet tooth, so no one seems sick of it yet (other than me). If you have any healthy baking recipes, I would love to hear them, as I still feel like baking, but think I've had enough sugar and butter for the rest of the year! (famous last words)

Sewing, on the other hand, would be really good if I could find the time. If I knew I would be staying up this late tonight, I probably would have pulled our my machine. I've got lots of ideas, but whether my sewing skills will be able to perform them is another thing. One thing I have been looking for, if anyone can help point me in the right direction, is a pattern for "newborn" cabbage patch dolls. Our "Newborn" Cabbage Patch doll only came with one outfit which proclaims "It's a girl!" on the front, which is not only starting to get really grubby, but also a bit tedious. It was fun to read that when we opened the cabbage, but after several months, the statement has lost all its excitement and energy. I mean, you don't see me walking around with a shirt stating I'm a girl, do you? I attempted to sew a pinafore type dress, just from the top of my head. My mum told me that I shouldn't (couldn't?) do it, as not even she could do that (and my mum is a woman with many years experience on the sewing machine, who if you had told her I would buy one of my own when I was older, would have laughed at the very thought of such a ludicrous statement), and while it seemed like it was all good when I started, when it came to the moment of truth, my mum was right. I am also thinking about messing about with some applique type stuff, so any advice there would be much appreciated :)